We Are The gods of Our Emotions
Dear Mr. USAR!
Everyone around me is like a roaring lion, looking for whom to devour.
Family members, neighbours, business associates, friends… one after another, have
sometimes betrayed me. When I remember all the embarrassment, shame, loss, misery
and humiliation that I suffered, I feel hurt and pained as a result of my heart aching. I
am simply unable to determine the load on my shoulders…whether it is my head or
some heavy metal…my mind seem overwhelmed with worries. How do I deal with this
and other emerging challenges please?
Can our environment challenge how good we feel?
How can we recreate special feelings which have been experienced in a long way the
past, whenever we want?
Could we benefit from and develop a secret weapon in the fight against negativity in the
How can we possibly control our response in challenging situations?
If there was something that influenced virtually everything we did or said, would we
really seek to learn more about it?
A lot of us are stuck sometimes with and in fear, boredom, sadness, annoyance or anger
and we cannot adapt to changing situations. More often than not, we struggle to connect
and maintain relationships on a personal and professional level. As we know, emotions
are a fundamental part of who we are, and of living and working with others. Our
emotions have immense practical value in helping us be more adaptable and ultimately
more successful. But, we’ve been conditioned to believe that emotions (negative) are just
the distraction to our lives. We need to be more aware of our emotions in order to
understand it’s underlying message.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand ourselves, know what drives us,
accurately see how others perceive us, and understand how we relate to others. This
helps us identify and manage the emotions of oneself, of others and of groups. People
who lack emotional intelligence, exhibit the inability to listen to others, defensiveness,
unawareness of our own feelings and how we come across, lack of sensitivity to others’
feelings, inability to show empathy, make friends and to deal constructively with
conflict, a drive to control others, narcissism, poor motivation and the need to have our
own way. These qualities lead to a lack of rapport between two parties in a conversation.
The ability to recognise our own emotions, and how they affect our thoughts and actions
can be developed once we work on our own emotional awareness and sensitivity. First,
we need to know ourselves with an aim to extend it to others. Emotional intelligence
places us at cause, raises our vibration and esteems us to a higher standard of
responsibility. What is a current challenge that leads to emotional tension? What
feelings does that situation trigger? What are we thinking/saying to ourselves? What are
some new ways to build relationship in this situation? What positive outcome can be
It is possible for us to manage our thoughts and feelings no matter what is happening in
our environment, by increasing our level of sensory acuity (or observation. Our thoughts
affect our feelings and our feelings affect our physiology, which in turn affects our
behaviour or the action we take. Therefore, checking that our physiology, or body
language, is in support of our desired outcome is vital.
We need to be consciously aware of what is going on around or inside of our being. Are
we listening to our own internal signals as to what we really want to do or are we doing
what we think others expect or demand of us? If we just take a moment to intentionally
see, hear, feel or experience a greater awareness of nonverbal communication we can
respond to opportunities that could otherwise go unnoticed.
The interpretation of the events that cause negative emotions to arise need to be done
with a view to squeezing out more empowering meanings which causes our unconscious
mind to let go of any negative emotions it may have preserved for resolution when the
right time shows up.
Creator, The Epic Outcomes Matrix