Rapport, The Key To Influential Relationships
Rapport is great power in the hands of anyone that has it. It is a level of trust and
responsiveness that creates the outcomes that are unusual.
What we say can create or break rapport, but interestingly spoken words amount to only
7% of communication. Our body language and our tone of voice are more important than
the actual contents of our conversations. Rapport goes beyond acting friendly, polite and
understanding the interests of a person. As humans we tend to communicate our exact
feelings through our facial expressions, hand gestures and body language.
When we heightening our sensory perception (our awareness of the senses- seeing,
hearing and feeling) we develop the skills needed to develop great relationships. Rapport
enables us easily create trust, and get on with anyone anywhere, greatly increases our
confidence and effectiveness through behavioural flexibility.
Many people are so fixated on organizing the content of their opinion, that they are more
focused on the conversation in their head than how their audience will receive them and
their message. They fail to speak from the heart and connect at the unconscious level where
the real communication occurs between people. To be in full communication and create
rapport with a person or an audience, the vocal qualities and body movements should be in
alignment with all aspects of the message including the emotional content. This is called
matching and mirroring.
We ultimately and always need to focus on being interested in the other person’s point of
view, be genuinely curious and discover a common ground. Suspend judgement, consider
the other person’s beliefs and experiences, focus on what they are saying rather than our
own analysis of things.
By using questions to find common grounds, we must quieten our internal conversation. If
we become distracted, focus our attention on what the other person is doing, thinking or
feeling. Have sufficient flexibility to match their behaviour. As we know that during
communication, body language accounts for the largest proportion of the overall message –
communication isn’t just between two people it’s also within a person. A conversation
directed to the conscious mind invites evaluation and analysis, but a conversation focused
more on right-brain communication creates an experience. The message gets embedded,
old belief systems are expanded and new thinking is birthed.
Regardless of whether people can specifically repeat back exactly what was said in a
particular order, the learnings are likely to impact the individual over time in a number of
different ways. The most persuasive messages are not recorded in the conscious mind but
are embedded in the unconscious mind. To create a powerful experience with a person, we
must actually interrupt the conscious evaluation patterns of our audience and meet them at
their unique place and tview of the world.
One good way to reach the unconscious mind of an audience and create smooth rapport is
by using metaphors, the telling of stories, cracking jokes or elaborating in statistics.
High-value statistical input can be impactful beyond conscious filters to can create a sense
of credibility in the message and the person delivering the message.
The main intention is to make the other person anticipate and engaged in the conversation,
because according to renowned psychologist – Milton Erickson, “in the presence of a good
rapport, anything is possible.”
Understand long the nature and use of rapport as a powerful tool for influence in
relationships is a key in the Epic Outcomes Matrix tools that we employ at InnocentMINDS
Take the steps today to understand this , begin your journey of personal change and even
much more when you enrol to be at our up-coming PUSH event in Abuja or Lagos. Enrol
Creator, The Epic Outcomes Matrix