In my personal experience and work experience with people in training, coaching and
therapy, I have figured out that the aftermath of a traumatic experience could lead to an
internal battle with our mind, once the euphoria of survival gives way to reality and the
emotional stress begins to set in.
Things happen all the time and it’s the how we react or respond to our experiences that
sort of defines who we are. Based on the meaning we attach to these events, we can
either choose to hop back on the horse when we fall or roll in the mud of self-pity.
Regardless of whatever happens in our lives, we all have the power over the results
through our choice.
We cannot determine the events that occur or the circumstances we may find ourselves
in, but we can choose what to focus on, what meaning to attach to each experience,
and what outcome we expect to get. Even when we experience a traumatic event, we
have a choice. It is our choices, not conditions, which determine the quality of our lives.
We can allow see stress and uncertainty caused by these events to overwhelm us, or
we can transform our lives by making different decisions having seen the experience as
a gift that has come to show us a good aspect of ourselves.
A lot of us are entangled in the idea that we can just positively “think” our way out of
something. But for things to change, we must first see things as they are, not worse.
Then envision it to be better than it is, before we can make it the way we see it. We all
have a powerful force within us, and there is nothing that can keep us from doing, being,
sharing, creating and giving whatever we envision in life.
Physical strength helps us survive, but psychologically strength enables us to thrive
over tough situations as opposed to letting the environment control our outcome. We
need to truly master our strength within us in order to conquer the outer world around
us. We have the ultimate ability to create an extraordinary life for ourselves, and to
achieve this we have to throw away the script of the past. Thereafter, we then redefine
how we want to live our life – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. By setting
a new standard for ourselves, we become eternally committed to creating the exact
results we desire.
How can we harness the strength and determination to overcome our deepest fears?
Would we allow it impact our lives? How are we going to interpret it? We must refuse to
allow the fear from the past dictate the fate of our future. Our habitual emotional
language shapes and controls the bulk of our emotional experiences in life, and the
labels we put upon our experience become our experience. The labels we attach to our
experience can transform the way we feel.
We can transform the quality of our life by simply becoming conscious of what habitual
language we use to express negative emotions, break old patterns and create stable
emotional choices. We are habitually inclined to identify intense emotions with elaborate
words to connote a reaction instead of a leveled response. Like using the word
depressed to express a feeling of feeling sad. Getting enraged by criticism is an
extreme reaction, as to respond by being frustrated. Feeling rejected is very much
different from being low spirited or down.
The key to transforming our life is to become conscious of our current patterns which
are unconsciously shaping the way we feel. In a way, our emotions and feelings
determine the quality of your life. We need to constantly to scrutinize our initial reaction
to an experience and simplify each emotional response. We have to become conscious
of the habitual words we use to describe our feelings, no matter how irrelevant.
Language transports the mind. By substituting words like ‘’Worry’’ with ‘’Concern,”
‘’Embarrassed’’ with ‘’Uncomfortable,” or ‘’Angry’’ with ‘’Irritated’,” we control the
intensity of the emotion we invest in a certain experience and cushion the effect the
experience has on our feelings. The principle of replacing extreme mental and verbal
responses with lighter literal expressions is very effective in breaking volatile emotional
We need to swap negative words with alternative words to describe unfavorable
experiences. These words should be able to amplify and intensify the positive feelings
within us. Swipe words like ‘’Okay’’ or ‘’Fine’’ with ‘’Incredible,” “Fantastic,” or
“Spectacular.” Our emotional vocabulary plays a crucial part in improving the quality of
our lives, as our habitual patterns shape our emotional experiences and affect our
We all need this mental repatterning today to function in our world.
Creator, Epic Outcomes Matrix